Jockey Mick Fitzgerald, who suffered horrific neck injuries in a fall in this year's Grand National admits he feels fortunate to be alive.
He is "back in circulation" for the first time after his mount L'Ami came crashing down at the second fence at Aintree in April.
"I feel like I have been given another bite of the cherry, I am very lucky, I have got a second chance," he said.
Fitzgerald, who turned 38 last week, abandoned plans to retire a year ago.
He was in terrific form with 71 winners in the season when life took a terrible twist. Though he doesn't rule out a return to the saddle, there is a hint that the fall in Liverpool will prove to be his dramatic swansong as a jockey.
"At this stage I haven't ruled anything out, but I do feel I have another chance and I am not going to take that for granted," he said.
"When I was lying there not being able to hear anything, the only thing in my head was my family"
He has been out of hospital for five weeks, but it feels more like seven days for Fitzgerald who suffered severe neck and back injuries in a fall at the second fence of the Grand National.
He says his body virtually shut down and the days passed in a blur, but he remembers the fall all too clearly.
"I remember everything about it, like it happened 10 minutes ago," he said.
"I knew, the way the horse approached the fence and should've taken off but didn't, that it was going to hurt. Unfortunately for me, there was no way back.
"It sums up what the National is all about. There is always a story in the National, most of them are good stories, but I was on the wrong side of the coin on that day.
"My family mean more to me than anything else at this stage. When I was lying there not being able to hear anything, the only thing in my head was my family. My soon to be wife Chloe (they marry in August) and my two boys Zac and Oscar, not 'Oh no I'm not going to ride again.'"
In the hours and days after the accident, racing held its breath. But Fitzgerald was thinking about racing even before he got to hospital.
"It was great to see Timmy (Murphy) win for David Johnson and David Pipe. It was the one thing, when I was lying there, being put into the ambulance I could just hear the end of the race and I thought 'fantastic' that they'd won the race," he said.
"Even though you are strapped to a spinal board with a major neck injury you are still thinking about the result."
Back home now in the beautiful village of Childrey, part of the Lambourn "valley of the racehorse", Fitzgerald bemoans heavy summer rain which last July led to his home being flooded - the sand bags are out again.
He is more mobile this week and he is hopeful that his neck brace will be off in time for the wedding.
"I am amazingly good," he says.
He looks relaxed as he adds: "People ask 'Will you ride again?' but I have little goals to aim at.
"To walk properly again - the rehab on my knee is going to be tough - hopefully, I will be back playing golf and running around in the garden with my two boys."
~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~50~RS~)